My younger Dudette, whom I’ll affectionately refer to as Madison for privacy’s sake (that’s also her real name, go figure), wrapped up a 10-month stint working for Under Canvas in Utah. Deciding it wasn’t ideal for her to drive her new Subaru Outback from Utah to Asbury Park, NJ alone, I opted to fly out and embark on the cross-country journey with her.
Spending 3 and a half days in close quarters with someone teaches you a lot – like the fact that, apparently, I don’t like Madison. Kidding, of course. I always knew.
Now, let’s dive into the lessons learned during our 2,500-mile escapade. Both of us adhere to a gluten-free lifestyle – I’m 100% gluten-free and 99% dairy-free, while Madison is 100% gluten-free AND 100% dairy free. So we had our challenges in the 2,500 mile journey ahead of us.
Returning home safely on Mrs. Dude’s birthday, I thought it fitting to share a recap of our journey and the valuable insights gained along the way. Here’s a glimpse:
TRIP RECAP
Day 1: Departed Utah at 6:35 am, headed for Boulder, CO, to stay with my niece Casey and her now husband Shai. Planned to pack a cooler but opted for grabbing food on the way. Found a gem in Grand Junction, CO – Cafe Sol (found it on the Gluten Dude app!) which nailed both gluten and dairy-free options. Arrived at Casey’s, ordered in from Bartaco, and promptly crashed.
Day 2: On the road by 7:30 am, we were bound for Des Moines, Iowa. We failed to visit a gluten-free bakery we found on the app in Boulder due to our early departure, relying on the same strategy as Day 1. We ventured through Nebraska, discovering a scarcity of eateries. We then settled for subpar snacks from “Kum and Go” markets, resulting in the dreaded “hangry” state. We ended the night in Des Moines at a place called Dirtburger that we found from the GD App – silence ensued as we devoured much-needed burgers and fries.
Day 3: Our first stop in Des Moines was supposed to be a bakery. We followed the directions and ended up in some neighborhood without a store in site. Not a good start. We hit the road with an aggressive goal of landing in Pittsburgh at day’s end. Did we learn our lesson from Day 2? Of course not. But we got lucky and found a 100% GF and Keto spot on the way. My questionable decision: Cauliflower Risotto with dairy, leading to a stomach ache for three hours. We holed up in Cleveland due to bad weather, enjoying sushi and a margarita in the hotel lobby – Day 3, a success.
Day 4: Homeward bound! Learning our lesson from the previous few days, we loaded up the car with food and hit the road. Just kidding. For some reason, we decided to wing it again…seriously don’t ask. While there were a few good options along the way, they were too far off the highway, and at that point, we just wanted to get home. We had a 7 hour drive and by hour 5, we desperately needed food. We found an ACME and got a few things to hold us over until we reached the Jersey Shore and pulled into Asbury Park at 4:00 into the welcoming arms of Mrs. Dude (Deb). Safe and sound.
LESSONS LEARNED
- If given the choice between traveling cross-country with me or Mrs. Dude, choose the latter. Mrs. Dude would not only pack the car with food but likely bake GF cookies en route.
- “Winging it” is not a wise strategy.
- “Kum & Go” is an odd name for Midwest gas station/markets – you’ll find them everywhere.
- Nebraska is a challenging state for travelers with few dining options and a surplus of corn and cows.
- Rest stop food across the country is atrocious – a gap in the market for a “Dude Food” gluten-free franchise, perhaps?
- For Deb’s birthday, we purchased one gift in each state we traveled through. Here’s the final list:
- Utah: An Under Canvas sweatshirt.
- Colorado: I’d rather not reveal, but here’s a hint: It’s only legal in a handful of states. And to be fair, this gift was as much for me as it was for Mrs. Dude.
- Nebraska: We were one mile from leaving Nebraska and we had no gift yet. We found a bird sanctuary gift shop and bought her a bottle with lights inside of it. Hard to describe but it’s pretty cool.
- Iowa: Not many options here, so we got her a “Kum & Go” t-shirt, which she admit she will never wear outside of the house.
- Illinois: See Colorado.
- Indiana: An Indiana shot glass.
- Ohio: A candle from the Cleveland Candle Company.
- Pennsylvania: A mug with some cool PA attractions on it.
- New Jersey: A coaster with the Asbury Park beach badge design.
FINAL THOUGHTS
- Conan O’Brien’s podcast is a new favorite. Not every episode is a home run, but even just the okay ones are good. My top 3 that we listened to? Jim Gaffigan, Paul Rudd and Kevin Nealon.
- If you think you can just “wing it”, think again. Yes…I know I said that already. But trust me, it bears worth repeating! Maddie and I both said that not eating gluten or dairy is not the worst thing in the world. But the lack of spontaneity suuuuuuuucks.
- Despite the challenges, I’d willingly embark on another cross-country journey with Maddie.
- And yes, I solemnly swear to be more prepared next time!